Posts tagged with "me"

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Every night I fall asleep trying to dream of you
Because before I left home state I never got to say goodbye
But I’m writing this to get things of my chest so I won’t lie,
When I close my eyes I picture us together in some perfect world
And I play it over and over like my favorite movie
We’d be together like I wanted and you would love me
Even though you’re so in love with her,
My heart will probably always long for you
This distance makes it so hard to work up the courage to call you
And I’m not talking about the miles or the 16 hour drive
If it was possible I’d be back today
Because you’re the only one that makes me feel alive
Even though you’re capable of making me feel so low
But there’s nothing I wouldn’t do or any place I wouldn’t go
For you, I’d do anything, even just for one more night
I remember when you cried to me, and I remember how you’d lie to me
And all the memories shared, in your room and in your car
I miss living so close because you never far
You were my first resort when I felt alone and needed a friend
The one I went to when I needed to escape
But now it’s been a few months and I have no where to run
So many things left unsaid, so many things I didn’t get to say
Because all you wanted to do was push me away
I was in denial about your feelings and addiction; I should’ve never let it get so deep
Because you became the reason for my lack of sleep
No matter how many times they ask me, I’ll always say I’m fine
I can rant and rave about you forever
But in all honesty I’m just hoping you’ve gotten better with time
I know you’re not the person you’ve become
I know you’re only human and that you’re not completely numb
I’ll always believe you’re amazing no matter what you think
And it’s okay that I probably never cross your mind
But you should know your always on mine
So I hope that maybe one day I’ll get hear your voice again, maybe see you face to face too
Just know I love you and get well soon

Me (Get Well Soon)

"The only time he loves me is naked in my dreams"

A month has already passed since the last time I’ve seen you & heard your voice, and I think it’s the beginning of the end again. I guess I shouldn’t be shocked? At least it didn’t end on bad terms, or as bad of terms as it usual does. But this time hurts the absolute worst. I still love you, and I’ll always be here.. just waiting. I guess I’ll never learn

I always want to erase the comments people post on the things I reblog but then I don’t want to be rude ??? ?

I feel like with a lot of people I have difficultly having conversation, like on a one on one type of situation. I tend to make awkward silence and don’t know what to say. And it’s because I often stay inside my own head; constantly thinking, contemplating, from one thing to another, practically scatterbrained. But something peculiar happened.. See with you, I noticed that didn’t happen. If there was the slightest or rarest time that it did, it was quickly ended. We always had something to talk about or discuss. Kinda never let the other be too quiet, or let it be one of those awkward moments. It’s almost as if you had a way of not letting me stay inside my own head.. I wish I had a better way of describing it, it just was what it was

Have you ever done something (whether it be kissing or whatever etc) with any person after falling in love with someone? Just being in love; not in a relationship or broken up, just think about the in love part in general. And like… it just felt so, wrong? No matter what they did; everything was right, but it didn’t turn you on, let alone “get you off” whatsoever. And all you could think about was the other person? I guess my situation is a lot different and sounds screwed up because it’s not fully explained, or explained at all. But idk I feel very wrong right now and I’m not even sure why because the love I have isn’t not even, at all, returned or mutual. Guess that’s what I get for attempting to “get over it”

Goodnight

Something I love about being on adderall: listening to edm & dubstep (also being alert and lively)

Something I hate about being on adderall: my mind creates random problems & worries and I start stressing instead of enjoying the energy and high

It’s so fucked up that I hear songs and think of you, but in the back of mind all I’m thinking is if you were listening to the same song, you’d be thinking of her

E v e r t h i n g is tripping me tf out

It pains me that I don’t get to kiss you goodbye each time I leave you

I have a bad habit of staring at you

"I hope you choke"

I want to go back. I want to go back to September. I want to go back to right after my mom left. When the boys had their accident and before I quit my job. I want to go back to when you still were interested. When you still pursued me. When you still tried. Before everything changed. I want to go back to before I let everything going on get the best of me and let my world crumble down around me. I want to go back to when I wasn’t broke and when I wasn’t broken. I want to go back to before I let you in, completely. I want to go back to that day and stop myself, just like all the other times I have. So I could’ve waited and then you could have told me how you really felt about the situation, instead of waiting until after the fact. Maybe I wouldn’t be feeling as bad as I do now about us. I want to go back to when I still had motivation, had the drive to succeed. The motivation to go to work and make money, the motivation to go to school, graduate, and become something. The motivation to get the fuck out of bed in the morning and be alive. I want to go back to when I actually didn’t let anything phase me, instead of pretending like it doesn’t when in all actuality, it’s eating me from the inside out and driving me absolutely insane. I want to go back to when I didn’t question my sanity; my identity. I want to go back and just stop myself completely. Stop myself from quitting my job. Stop myself from skipping school so much. From falling for you, trusting you, sleeping with you.. before I knew it all. Stop myself from hurting the people I care about. Stop myself from letting the drugs get the best of me again. Stop myself from myself. If everything happens for a reason, then the future better make up for all of this overwhelming events and feelings and thoughts and regrets that I’ve had. Because if they do not, I’ll just be worse. No matter how hard I try to change it and be better; it will always be there, on my mind. But either way, nothing will change the fact that I just want to go back

People say things like “if they don’t love or feel the same now, they never will” but they just don’t understand how well I know you. And that after everything, I believe you don’t know how to have those feelings anymore. But between time and me, I’ll make sure you will again

So you finally fell asleep; your heads on my stomach and I’m still rubbing head, running my fingers through your hair. I can’t help but notice how innocent you look; kinda like when I tickle you when you get me mad because it’s the only way to make you give in. And all I could think about it how badly I just wanna get it off my chest. I just wanna tell you… But I’ve already confessed too much, and I can’t risk losing you